ZOOGZ RIFT LYRICS
MURDERING HELL'S HAPPY CRETINS
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1988 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Murdering Hell's Happy Cretin"
Well, I just opened my eye
Looks like I'm still here
Still haven't figured out why
It's all so fucking weird
Don't want no Christmas dinner
Can barely stand to see you
You're only a beginner
Stop begging me to be you
Forget the conversation
When we're pumpin' and a-pushin'
It's true that you may be a looker
But I'm looking underneath for something
that was never there
Esthetics doesn't cut it
I'd just as soon stay home and rub it
Nothing really does it
Why fuck the void as the bottom
when you're fucking with the top?
Don't you give a shit where your head is at?
Are you satisfied where you are going?
If you close your eyes, do you think the ugly world will die?
Man, what an asshole!
Cut this bullshit about "peace"
There is good and there is evil
By avoiding a commitment
You allow this shit to happen
By escaping into dreamland
You're fucking yourself over
And dragging me down with you
Can't you see why I despise you?
Don't you give a shit where your head is at?
Are you satisfied where you are going?
You know, you're really looking tempting
With your tits hanging out
But your head is so empty
I can barely stand to take another look!
(well, maybe one...)
Take that fucked up bow out of your hair
And wipe off that stupid make-up
We either go with what we really are
Or we don't...
When you get in that position
You act just like a politician
Always dishing out a bunch of fucking lies
No way will I call you "gorgeous"
When the truth is, you make me nauseous!
Let's say we just forget it!
I could be home, night after night
Bashing my head into a brick wall
Running naked down the street
With my brain hanging out the side of my head
Screaming
Don't you give a shit where your head is at?
Are you satisfied where you are going?
If you close your eyes, do you think the ugly world will die?
Man, what an asshole!
Cut this bullshit about "peace"
There is good and there is evil
By avoiding a commitment
You allow this shit to happen
By escaping into dreamland
You're fucking yourself over
And dragging me down with you
Can't you see why I despise you?
I'LL RIP YOUR BRAINS OUT
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1987 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Water"
Oh mama, mama, best you get your ass here, quick!
Somethin's wrong with Teddy - apparently he's sick
Oh mama, mama, he's got into the goldfish bowls again
And he ate 'em, mama - ate the bones 'n left the skins
You promised! You promised he wouldn't do that no more
Oh mama, mama, Teddy's coagulatin' on the floor
When I asked you where ol' Teddy was born
You told me he was hatched from an egg
What you and daddy picked up out in the co'nfield
Oh mama, mama, that ain't no co'nfield Teddy
Oh mama, mama, that ain't no co'nfield Teddy
- He's from outer space or somethin'!
Oh mama, mama, Teddy's on fire
He got the disease that eats away your bones and leaves the skins
Oh mama, why couldn't I be hatched???
When I asked you where ol' Teddy was born
You told me he was tetched
And now the world's a nervous wreck
Something's gone wrong with No-Co'nfield Teddy
Something's gone wrong with No-Co'nfield Teddy
Jethro's cookin' up some acid for Eddie and Greg
They be strummin' guitars 'n passin' the keg
Hey! What's that drippin' down Eddie's leg?
Must be some recycled moonshine!
Granny's in the kitchen, a-flashin' her crack
Jed's got the old gal down on her back
She be suckin' the wanger under the fancy eatin' table
N' doin' unnatural acts with the TV cable!
Of brewing LSD, Jethro's quite fond
With his chemistry set by the cement pond
The chickens are plucking out your eyes! Look out!
And Daisy Mae is blowin' some toot
(or whatever the fuck her name is - don't give a hoot)
Granny! Granny! Jethro's peein' in the pool
And the chickens are tryin' t' hatch his eyeballs!
Little Joe is playin' that crazy rock and roll music
Whilst Eddies dancing with some girlfriend of Papillon
Looks like she ain't got her knockers on
Granny, how could you carry on?
Granny, how could you carry on?
Ol' Jethro ain't got no eyes!
But lighjt is shining out of his head
Just like a drive-in movie
Out by the cement pond!
(Oh, great… tonight they're showing "Terms of Endearment")
Jethro, you sure knows how to pick 'em,
You clucking birdbrain!
Oh granny, granny! Ol' Teddy's got the disease that
Eats away your bones and leaves the skins
When I asked you why ol' Teddy was born
You said I was tetched
And now Uncle Jed is a nervous wreck
E. Bentley is wringing his goddman neck!
Something's gone wrong with No-Co'nfield Eddie
Something's gone wrong with No-Co'nfield Teddy
ISLAND OF LIVING PUKE
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1986 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Island of Living Puke"
What - what strange land is this?
What am I doing here? How did this happen?
Why am I asking YOU?
I'm beginning to suspect foul play!
I ate at night, when I am sleeping
You slimy mo-fos come out creeping
Sucking me into your world of horror
- Can this be the world of tomorrow?
Wait a minute! Just a second! I know who you are!
Yes, it's true! You're the Citizens Of The Neighborhood!
What the hell is it that you're trying to do to me?
You're making me brain damaged
All these people hanging around my head
It's the Island Of Living Puke, you asshole
It's the Island Of Living Puke, you asshole
Perhaps I just need a slight cranial adjustment
Like the dentist pulling my gums inside out
And pulling my brain out through my gum cavity
As my head implodes and is yanked out by some
Damn yankee barber!
Perhaps I'm a beauty queen
The target of a thousand flying jackasses
Braying in mocking defiance of their
Stultified, stupefied defecation on my peekini
Perhaps I've already won ten million dollars
With the mo-fo geeks chasing me through the woods
Trying to rip out my britches and use me for a human weenie roast
In front of the campfire girls' glee club
Perhaps nothing is what I think it is
Maybe you're all just a bunch of NICE GUYS
And you aren't really trying to suck every last cent
Out of my pocket and give me
Absolutely nothing in return…
KASABA KABEZA (The Secret Marines On Tour: Germany)
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1990 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "War Zone"(1992)
(A woman's voice, ridiculously sexy, whispery, seductive & corny):
Oh, Mr. Rift! I'm soooo sorry to see you here in this hospital
hooked to all these machines, with all those tubes and wires
sticking in and out of you, keeping you alive.
I always considered you such a virile, sexy young man.
Is it true that many years ago you used to put out rock and roll albums?
Wow - I mean, I really love rock and roll, you know, and you -
I heard that you actually had a band and everything and you actually
toured all over the United States and Europe and everything!
OOOOOHHHHHH! I can't belive I'm talking to a real rock musician!
Mr. Rift - that machine you're on is beeping faster - is that okay?
Are any of your record albums still available?
I mean, can you still find them in the stores?
Did you ever put out any compact discs? You did?
OOOOOHHHHHHhH!
I don't understand why I never heard of you before this!
Is it true that you used to play electric guitar and everything?
I really love electric guitar!
Did you make enough money to own one of those really nice,
professional Mesa Boogie amps, that sound really good?
Oh - oh well.
Mr. Rift, I don't mean to be forward, but your hospital gown is pushed up,
and, uh, well, uh - here, let me pull it back down for you -
OH, MR. RIFT! You've just met me!
Well, uh, let me go over and close the door at least.
I really love the way you sing, Mr. Rift. Mr. Rift? MR. RIFT???
KASABA KABEZA (The Secret Marines On Tour: Lithuania)
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1990 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "War Zone"(1992)
Daddy likes to work.
Daddy wakes up in the morning
Daddy shaves his face.
Daddy puts on sweet-smelling perfumes and powders.
Daddy kisses Mommy.
Daddy pats Mommy on bare behind.
Mommy smiles at Daddy.
Mommy puts Daddy's uniform on bed.
Daddy puts on his uniform.
Daddy kisses me on forehead at breakfast table
Daddy walks over to fireplace
Daddy kisses each of the six brains, sitting in the glass jars
Brains think good thoughts at Daddy
Daddy eats his breakfast
Daddy gets in his car
Daddy goes to work
Neighbors watch from behind their curtains
Neighbors take notes
Neighbors use home video cameras on Daddy
Daddy uses home video cameras on the neighbors
Daddy uses camera at night
Daddy makes illegal sex films
Daddy later use for blackmail
Daddy and Mommy watch neighbor sex films
Daddy sends me to bed early
I look out of my bedroom window
I see the stars
I see the moon
I see neighbor's window
Neighbors have camera on Mommy and Daddy's window
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
What do they see?
MEET ME AT STINKY'S
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1989 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album Torment (song sung by Jon Sharkey)
Meet me at Stinky's
I'll be there at eight
To rekindle our romance
Black is black
White is white
Day is day
Night is night
Nature is what it is
Regardless of what you would like
Man, I'm sick of your nonsense!
Go take a hike
YOU DOOT?
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1986 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album Water
(To be recited by a giggling teenage girl)
I used to work at this fasst-food restaurant where this guy actually
jerked off right into the hamburgers. The guy's a real numbskull.
He does that, and the customers don't even know that it's there -
they think people are just joking around when they tell stories like that.
He does it in the vanilla shake mix too. One night, when things were real slow,
I did it for him. I jerked him right into this cup! You know?
Then some fat guy came in with his kidand we gave the shake to him.
Some people are such stupid assholes - I can't believe it!
But that was nothing compared to the drive-in theatre job I had by the foothills.
Two years ago I used to roek there. And MAN, that place was REALLY disgusting!
There was this weird guy who ran the place…
I think he was Iranian or something… and I used to go into his office
about forty-five minutes before closing time. I would go in there
and there would be these two young girls there -
they must have been eleven or twelve years old - both totally naked,
and one of them would be sucking on his cock, which was all crooked and weird in itself,
while the other would be doing this aerobic disco dancing to fucked-up Iranian music on the cassette deck.
WEIRDORAMA!!!! Then I'd walk in and he'd ask what I wanted - I never liked the way he looked at me -
and I'd tell him
ASPHYXIATED
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1992 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album Villagers
Trapped outside the earth
Forced to breathe the air
Bats from the universe
Stuck in my hair
Surrounded by these ugly things
That look too much like me
They want to eat me up alive!
They want to eat me!
Blinded by the sun
Deafened by the sound
The only place I'm safe
Is deep underground
No cackling hyenas!
No obnoxious sales pitches!
No abusive wise guys
Or stupid sons of bitches!
WE'RE ALL ASPHYXIATED!
TRAPPED OUTSIDE THE EARTH
FORCED TO LIVE ON POISON
SINCE THE TIME OF BIRTH
ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED
Jackasses harassing me
'Bout my golden opportunity
Join the club, get on the bus
Gooble gobble, one of us
Go to sleep, become a pod
Dedicate my life to God
Let the chips fall where they may
Always look the other way
WE'RE ALL ASPHYXIATED!
TRAPPED OUTSIDE THE EARTH
FORCED TO LIVE ON POISON
SINCE THE TIME OF BIRTH
ASPHYXIATED, ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED, ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED, ASPHYXIATED
ASPHYXIATED, ASPHYXIATED
A EQUALS A
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1988 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Murdering Hell's Happy Cretin"
You want all the marbles, 'cause you lost most of your own
Your ass will be introuble when Big Daddy comes home
You gave them all to him and now you want them back
The guise of a master, performed by a hack
Wasn't you who said to him that it was okay?
You bought yourself security by selling your life away
Wasn't you proclaiming there are only shades of grey?
What will you do now?
You've been digging your own grave
The life you took for granted
Is there anything left to save?
You put it out of your mind
Too chickenshit to say
That the fact of the matter is
A equals A
Big Daddy's gonna grab you, and beat you with a club
The one that you gave him, saying, "I don't need it, bub!"
What a heavy price to pay for an apartment and a meal
What difference does it make? (if everything's "unreal"...)
Wasn't you who said that he could kiss your ass?
That now that he's falling for the con, why not give it a try?
Now you find yourself kissing your own ass goodbye!
Bon voyage!
Have a nice trip!
You were such a damn fool!
You lost your grip!
What the hell does it take?
To get you to awake
No matter what you say
A equals A equals A equals A equals A
YOU'RE KILLING ME
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1983 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Island of Living Puke"
You're killing me
Put to sleep for good
Kick me while I’m down
Like I knew you would
You’re killing me
Push me in the grave
Try to shove me aside
Calling me depraved
You wanna plunge the knife into my back and TWIST IT
TWIST IT ‘ROUND ‘N’ ‘ROUND
You wanna plunge the knife into my back and TWIST IT
TWIST IT ‘ROUND ‘N’ ‘ROUND
You’re killing me
Turn me inside out
You think I don’t see
What you’re all about
I’m a torn in your side
A pain in your ass
You wanna see me DIE
You wanna see me passed…
You wanna plunge the knife into my back and TWIST IT
TWIST IT ‘ROUND ‘N’ ‘ROUND
You wanna plunge the knife into my back and TWIST IT
TWIST IT ‘ROUND ‘N’ ‘ROUND
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
YOU’RE KILLING ME
SLEAZEBALL
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1987 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Water II: At Safe Distance"
She has a SLEAZEBALL
Sittin’ where his head should be
It’s grey and it’s shrivelled
Causing molecular structure disharmony
Hey, toots!
It looks like y’ gots yerselfs uh
SCHMOESEPHOLA APRICOT
Ooh baby baby, ah likes it alot!
Ooh baby baby, ah likes it alot!
ADD A LITTLE SOUR CREAM TONIGHT…
SLEAZEBALL’S ON THE LOOSE
ADD A LITTLE SOUR CREAM TONIGHT…
SLEAZEBALL’S ON THE LOOSE
SLEAZEBALL…
Usin’ a natural fennel douche
She’s gettin’ the hots
Comes out smellin’ like
Licorice-scented apricots
She says she’s got an idea
(Give me a break!)
That shrivelled, grey mellon really
Takes the cake
SLEAZEBALL
Down where the sun don’t shine
SLEAZEBALL
She’s a friend of mine
SLEAZEBALL
With a horn like a goose
ADD A LITTLE SOUR CREAM TONIGHT…
SLEAZEBALL’S ON THE LOOSE
ADD A LITTLE SOUR CREAM TONIGHT…
SLEAZEBALL’S ON THE LOOSE
SLEAZEBALL
SLEAZEBALL
SLEAZEBALL
SLEAZEBALL…
HI MOM I’M HOME
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1989 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "Torment"
Don’t ask me to speak a word
I’m fed up with all your bullshit
Soon, I’ll go away - but
You’ll find another victim
You’ll find another victim
You say that I’m paranoid
It makes sense
You think you’re blameless
You just write me off, jack
And go on with your business
And go on with your business
Don’t act like you’re on my side
When you like me for the wrong reasons
You don’t have a clue to
What in the hell I’m after
What in the hell I’m after
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
One day I’m gonna pick up my guitar
And play it for myself
(No more freebees)
And if I can’t pay my bills
I’ll know it was the will of the people
It’s not that I haven’t tried, but
There’s limit to my patience
(you bet your ass)
YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON BULLSHIT
Reward the mediocre geeks
You’re just in it for the bucks
A pack of opportunistic fucks
Who get stronger as they make you weak
THEY LIE TO YOU and YOU BELIEVE IT
Just like they calculate you to
Their music is all the same
(They can barely write their name!)
By supporting them, what does that make YOU???
By giving money to a stranger
While ignoring the needs of your own
Harvest what you can of what remains because
Tomorrow you’ll be empty and alone
I feel like I’m doing this for nothing
Don’t have a house, can’t pay the rent
While you go to shows by those
Who couldn’t give a shit
The whoel affair’s an embarassment!
YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON BULLSHIT
Reward the mediocre geeks
You’re just in it for the bucks
A pack of opportunistic fucks
Who get stronger as they make you weak
THEY LIE TO YOU and YOU BELIEVE IT
Just like they calculate you to
Their music is all the same
(They can barely write their name!)
By supporting them, what does that make YOU???
YOU CAN COUNT ON US
words&music by Zoogz Rift
Copyright 1989 Miss Anne Thrope Music Ltd
from the album "War Zone"
(Inspired by the Travelling Wilburys…)
When it comes to predicting what you want to hear
We’ve got the market cornered, we’ve got you in gear
When it comes to perfection, we have no peer –
You can count on us!
We’re millionaires with lots of time on our hands
Our goal in life is to meet your demands
We get paid to appease our fans –
You can count on us!
The only real time we get to feeling deep blue
Is that time of year when the taxman is due
But it don’t matter much, ‘cause…
We can always count on YOU! (mercy!)
Everybody
Needs somebody
To rip off
Our image
And our smile
Should be a tip off
Your gullability
Keeps us from
Getting PISSED OFF
Anybody
Without MONEY
Can FUCK OFF…
“The world is one big materialistic mess”
A long, long time ago, we did protest
But the times-they-have-a-changed, we must confess…
You can count on us!
Martha’s Vinyard and Malibu
Playgrounds subsidized by ALL OF YOU
While we quietly TURN THE SCREW –
You can count on us…
The only real time we get to feeling deep blue
Is that time of year when the taxman is due
But it don’t matter much, ‘cause…
We can always count on YOU! (growwwwwlllllll!)
Everybody
Needs somebody
To rip off
Our image
And our smile
Should be a tip off
Your gullability
Keeps us from
Getting PISSED OFF
Anybody
Without MONEY
Can FUCK OFF…
“The world is one big materialistic mess”
A long, long time ago, we did protest
But the times-they-have-a-changed, we must confess…
You can count on us!
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