I GOTTA PEE (0:48)
OOh, Oh, hey, stop it!
-Next.
-What you’re doin’ to me?
OOh, hey, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey!
Wait! Ooh, ooh!
Get away!
Stop that! Stop that! Stop it!
Pull the plug! Pull the plug!
You’re fired, jagworm!
Hey, I gotta pee.
I CUT THE WRONG MAN (3:31)
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I made a mistake
I won’t do it again
I cut the wrong man
At a Methodist Sunday church’s picnic
Old people were milling around
Jimmy McGriff saw Daniel McCaine
And a charge went right through his brain
He remembered the Sunday ten years ago
They were drinking communion wine
He passed out, the world spinning around
Some jokers’ idea of a good time
Somebody had drugged the communion kool-aid
They laughed in his face when he woke up
Then they chuckled when he staggered in
They guffawed when he threw up
He swore one day he’d get even
I know I don’t have to explain
He thought ‘You bastard, your turn is come’
When he recognized Daniel McCaine
The grifter got his pocket knife
Grabbed McCaine in a bear hug
He took out that razor-sharp knife
He said ‘You better kiss goodbye to your wife’
Before Daniel had a chance to argue
His throat was slashed open wide
Blood poured out everywhere
Not a chance he would survive
Hundreds of Methodists just stood there
Nobody even raised a hand
Then that old fool McGriff realized
He didn’t really even know that man
Here comes the Sheriff with his handguns
First-degree murder charges
Goddamn!
That’s when Jimmy McGriff realized
He got the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I made a mistake
I won’t do it again
Cut the wrong man
So if you were at the last Sunday Methodist church supper
Don’t take too much for granted
Them folks, looking so quiet
Anyone might have murder in his eyes
And when they pass that communion wine
You better give it a drug test
Don’t pack no pocket knife
You know the rest
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I made a mistake
I won’t do it again
Cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I made a mistake
I won’t do it again
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I cut the wrong man
I made a mistake
I won’t do it again
I cut the wrong man
GEORGE BUSH’S BONES JIG (2:09)
Oh, yeah.
Whose them bones stinkin’ up the barnyard?
George Bush’s bones
(George Bush’s bones)
Whose them bones stinkin’ up the barnyard?
George Bush’s bones
DESERT STORM CHEWING GUM (2:05)
I need a drink of water, I have a turbo tape in my mouth
It’s this gum I’ve been chewing
I hate it but they’ve forced it down my throat all year
It’s desert storm chewing gum
Every fiber, come on, try some
More than just to chew
What it does to you
Save it the flavor
Someone else’s neighborhood does BOOM!
The lights go dim
The lights go black
It’s our president’s chewing gum attack
Which it’s our gulf after Tulsa...
What did it do
Chew, chew, chew
At first they think: ‘What a powerful gum’
Then their mouths are still with…
And, oh what weights on the very next pages
In your mouth an oil fire rages
Don’t try to put it out with water
The taps don’t run in the New World Order
Just chill out, dude
Don’t be a slob
Pretty home and lose your job
The desert storm chewing gum
Flagrant strong enough to blot out the sun
Also the moon, but fear not, swoon
It’s just like the moon on the earth pretty soon
But not before the ground war began
We kill them with a pile of sand
Buried alive, Oh what a lucky man
Above the ground … again
The desert storm chewing gum
Brought to you by the usual crew
It is their plan for the gumming man
To be the lucky fool who gets to chew
The desert storm chewing gum
Every fiber, come on, try some
Support the troops
Or scoop up their poop
It’s the surprise snack inside each pack
LET ‘EM DRINK WHILE THEY’RE YOUNG (3:03)
Let ‘em drink while they’re young
That’s their turn to have fun
So basketball practices [nears] with their coaches
Just as pissed
Let ‘em drink while they’re young
I’d like to have a bit of fun
Therefore if you’re a father of three
The cubs are stinking drunk
Let ‘em drink while they’re green
Let’s make the drinking age fourteen
That’s when we first took down vodka with the gasoline
[...]
We thought it sucked so we did pills
And you can die having such fun
But if…
[...]
In France they start drinking wine at five
Like mama’s milk it’s part of being alive
And even some Frenchmen D.U.I.
Bless super-vision
Bless collision
In Germany the drinking age is sixteen
They look at us and this is what they see
A law’s been passed [that’s heavier than empty cans]
They wanna keep their young under their old thumbs
Let ‘em drink while they’re pink
You got kids then you wanna need a drink
But not with all your rules
Everything you think
Let ‘em drink while they’re [...]
If they’re too drunk to push your grocery cart
You kick a plenty, you’re centered, junkin’ old fart!
MISTER JONES (3:33)
You know that bastard Jones that sold your house
Well, he moved into our neighborhood down
Bitch!
Well, he’s thinking about Marilyn’s fence
You know, Marilyn’s fence is on his property
I think it’s three quarters of a foot
One section of it is insisting that
Really, they gotta remove it
That’s the beginning of the houses’ for having this Jones bastard
I got this great book, you know
“Neighborhood Pranks”, George Heigel, I think the guy’s name
Well, he describes how you can
Well, for instance, fire a cat out of a can against the wall
of your neighbor’s house, things like that, you know
The neighbor’s cat, it’s something that ever happened
I’m not suggesting anything
Anyway, well, by hook or by crook,
something is gonna happen to this Jones character
because he’s really creating a lot of problems in the neighborhood
He’s just like…
I don’t want you, Mister Jones
We don’t need you ‘round no more
I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round my door
I don’t want you outside hanging ‘round no more
Well, I can run just a little bit fast
Really, just a little bit
I can say just a little bit louder
Without you, Jones
I don’t want you outside hanging ‘round my door
Evan Johns, a solo!
Well, I can sing just a little bit clear
I can run just a little bit faster
Do you ever think little better without you, Jones
I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round my door
Mister Jones
Mister Jones
Mister Jones
Mister Jones
I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round my door
I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round no more
Eugene!
I can take my mandolin a bit cleaner
I can do anything meaner
I can sleep a little sounder without you, Mister Jones
I don’t need you, I don’t want you ‘round my door
Mister Jones
Mister Jones
Well, Mister Jones
Mister Jones
Mister Jones, I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round my door
Well, I don’t want you, I don’t need you ‘round no more
Yeah, we’ll be alright without him
MISSING ENGINEER (0:39)
They don’t make a widowmaker
Did you start?
That’s what you made of me
I’m doin’ all free and don’t mind
It’s something running out of there
[I don’t know what’s going on]
-Is there anybody in there?
-No, we were running in.
Don’t know if you started or what?
Oh, I don’t know.
Ready? It’s “Killbillies”
CHECKERS OF BLOOD (6:01)
Well, I ride in on a train goin’ east
My back got sore tryin’ to sleep
So I walked the length of the train
Engine took a boost and back again
And on the sixth trip I passed a car
I did not recall seein’ before
The worst screams and most angry fight
You may have heard on some torture night
Was nothin’ compared to the ride
Comin’ from this cabin as I walked past
Inside nothin’, just two very old men
Sittin’ over a checker board
Neither of them movin’
Each clutchin’ the checker between their fingertips
Stripped right off and drippin’
A little blood drippin’
Then upon the board a spat of crimson
So red you couldn’t see on which square it landed
Whose move was whose
I could not tell, all I could hear
Was two ‘o them yell back and forth
How they hated to their skin
But one day there’ll be a winner
And that will end the claim
Till then they’ll play till their fingers bled
Till then they’ll play till one of them is dead
Then their sons and the daughters
Gladly replace them
There, waitin’ in the station
With that strange stub face
I went back to my car
I was tremblin’ , I admit
The vision remained, though I wanted none of it
And I slept fitfully as the train carried on
Till I child scream woke me near the dawn
The scream tore at my heart, someone torturin’ a baby
Why didn’t anyone answer it
I must be goin’ crazy
I ran through that train
Tryin’ to find …
The scream went on and on
Was I in front or behind it?
At last I found a child on the cabin floor
The old men still playin’ their checkers next door
The baby was filthy
Its … was stickin’ out
It howled for comfort, a pitiful child
And it tried to move on its legs so weak
I took it in my arms, clutched it to my cheeks
… so I went into the room
Well, the game went on
and then it’s blood and it’s doom
“You bastards!”, I cried
The child’s sick, can’t you hear?
“There could be a million more”, one of ‘em said
“We wouldn’t care, our game’s too important
And it’s always been this way
Our game will go on, I’ll be the winner some day!
“The hell you will! That’s just what your father said!
And he’s stiff for that, now both of them are dead!”
“Better dead than give in”, the other one hissed
Pushed out the checker blood streamin’ down his wrist
Where was the board and the pool on the table
And still they played on, I don’t know how they were able
As I stood there, woke up back in my car
How long had I traveled, not really very far
My body was aching from this troubled sleep
So I walked up and down the corridor
On the train goin’ east
LAND OF USE TO BE (7:41)
This highway runs along the Bayou
The traffic moves along
No-one stops for a turn
‘Cause the businesses are all gone
There used to be a nice motel
Next to that good Cajun cafe
Then they tried a massage parlor
Couldn’t even make that pay
With so much to use
So many things to be
It’s the land of use to be
Used to be a bank
Used to be a movie theater
Used to be a night-club
Used to be, used to be
With so much to use
So many things to be
The land of use to be
Meanwhile, [when a cadillac car over]
A business woman from another state
Is wondering, “Do I have any desperate left?
Or is it too late to be a free spirit?”
Move with the waves, retitle
To be that was beyond us
To be us, suicidal
With so much to use
So many things to be
It’s the land of use to be
Used to be a bank
Used to be three telephone companies
Used to be someone left to go bankrupt
Oh, used to be a [corn] for the bankruptcy
So much to use
So many things to be
The land of use to be
With so much to use
So many things to be
It’s the land of use to be
The land of use to be
Living in the land of use to be
(*) any corrections and additions are most welcome
No comments:
Post a Comment